My husband took this photo of me one morning in July last year. It was 7:08 in the morning, and somewhere around mile 70 of my first 100 mile trail race. I had been moving in the mountains since 7 am the day before. I remember that the sun had just risen in the sky and we could hear the birds chirping again. I could finally see the creek running down the canyon that I had been hearing for the past few hours in the dark. I could see that the vegetation along the side of the trails that had been brushing my tired legs was blooming with wildflowers. It was like the world was waking up. It felt like I was waking up too. After a dark night suffering up and down big climbs with an exhausted body and an even more wrecked spirit, the sunshine and birds chirping lifted me back up.
I’ve heard many seasoned ultra runners talk about being able to work through low spots in races and getting back to high points. That’s part of the beauty of running these long distances. You can completely break down, but you have the time to put the pieces back together again. You almost always have more strength than you realize. I had never actually experienced that until this race. I’ve hit low spots in races, but never climbed my way back up. I would stay in those low spots until the finish line. But on this morning as the sun was rising, I realized I was actually coming out of my dark spot and into the light. My mood lifted, my body felt strong again, I began running after almost 7 hours of stumbling through the dark. I knew that I was going to accomplish this absolutely crazy goal of running a 100 mile race in the mountains.
Many situations in life are too nuanced to be simplified into this idea that you almost always have more strength than you realize. But when I look back on this morning I’m quickly reminded that no matter what, the sun is going to rise and the birds will start chirping again. And I’m not saying this in a metaphorical way, but quite literally the the sun will rise and a new day will begin. And these simple thoughts feel powerful & reassuring to me.